For the last 30 plus years a central part of my self-concept has come from my ability to bear children.

That is code for sex.  The possession of breast.  The gaze of men.

When I was young I was a little oblivious to how pervasive the whole sex thing was for men.  

When I got a little older it was just-the-way-things-are.  But not in a good way.  I am kinda tired of dealing with the comparison, the cgi pics, razor thin models, fake breasts.

Time for a change.

I thought about it (with some help from my kids)–when I was six I was oblivious to the gaze of others.  Mirrors were for imaginary friends and maybe checking your teeth for spinach.

They were not weapons of comparison.  When I was six I never worried my butt was too big.

So I have decided to go back.  I have decided to apply the rules of sixishness to my forty-something self.

Mirrors are for imaginary friends and teeth checks.

Go confidently into the world, unselfconsciously confident.

Try to see everyone else as six too–potential friends at the playscape.

Focus on the joy.  

Realize you are just a kid.

I will let you know how this works for me.

In the meantime–

C’mon, let’s go play!

Advertisements