It was a watershed moment.

I had always been active. I liked to swim and walk and lift weights. I also liked to eat. Too much. When I was younger I had obsessed about diets. I was thin then, but did not see it. I always felt heavy.

So when I was in my late twenties and early thirties my metabolism slowed and my pregnancies added weight (more on that later) and I got heavy. Only since I had always seen myself as heavy I did not notice the difference.

Not until that day.

I had taken a relative to the airport and I stopped at a store to buy a bathing suit. My daughter was a couple months old. I stood in the dressing room and saw my body. Bad lights, bad mirrors. I could not blame them anymore. I needed to lose weight.

For the next 4 to six months I lost weight. I went on a very simple, very restrictive diet and I embraced the hunger.

I will talk about the rules of that diet. But for now I want to talk about the message.

I realized that my emotional attachment to food and eating was not healthy.

My real struggle was with my heart, my wounds, my need for soul food.. Food for the heart. That was what I needed then and it is what I need now.

A few children later and a lot of lessons learned, I still need soul food…and to lose some weight.

How about you. What is your story?

Advertisements